I went in today to have the drains taken out. We forgot the sheet that keeps track of how much fluid was comng out. We tried to get ahold of my MIL at home with the kids. No one answered. We tried the neighbor. Shoot….all that work measuring bodily fluids for nothing. Thankfully she trusts I am not oozing an obscene amount and takes them out. She is not a “ta-da…here they are” doctor. I have to remember she is not a psychiatrist but a surgeon. I still want to chat about how it looks. I want reassurance it looks ok. I’m going to ask Jeremy. I know what he’ll say….he always says I look great. I tell her I look thinner without breasts. She agrees. We’re trying to find positives. I say “I bet I weigh less now too.” She laughs.
Once again she busily works on my dressing, pulling and proding. I felt the drains coming out but it didn’t hurt. Just felt weird. As we leave I tell her she did a good job. Like I’m rating her performance. On a scale of 1 to 10, I give this mastectomy a 9.5. Clean lines, pulled tight, flat as a board. I feel silly after I say it. She nods and smiles. I have to say I’m going to miss Dr. Kalinowski when this is all over. She is this beautiful red-head with all the tenacity to be a surgeon. She was an operating room nurse and went back to med school to be a surgeon. When I meet with her I want to be strong because I think about how strong she has to be to do what she does. I want to hang out with her. I want to get to know her on a personal level. I wish we were friends and had met on different terms. I wish my daughters knew her. A nurse over at the cancer center just raves about Dr. K. She used to work for her. So I’m thinking she is quite a mentor to other young women. Pretty cool. But she is the doctor, and I am the patient, and truthfully I hope if we do run into each other after this is all over it is on totally different terms. I hope.