Patience has never been my virtue.
I’m on the verge of emailing my plastic surgeon because I’m petrified I will have this hole in my chest forever. I remember when I met with my oncologist at U of M before my mastectomies, she was very insistent that the mastectomies needed to be done. Not on just one, but both. Maybe in the light of persuasion, she also said “we’ll make you look pretty again.” I don’t feel very pretty right now. I feel very, very sad and ugly. I can live with the scars but I don’t think I want to settle for big hole. Wasn’t it enough that I had to lose my breasts and my hair and go through all of that. Everything is healing so well except for this one small piece. It’s almost as if cancer can’t fully lose it’s grip. Like I can’t pull away completely.
It seems so trivial in light of what I’ve come through. Somewhere right now someone is being diagnosed with cancer.
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised,” (Proverbs 31:30).