I feel like I’ve been a tad bit negative lately. I really have been trying to think less about my wound and keep busy. I’ve been somewhat successful. It’s hard when I have to change the bandages every 3-4 hours. But here are some positive things that happened today.
In regards to being on this side of cancer and reconstruction:
1. I went to try on clothes today and I am totally happy with what I see. I’m still annoyed that everything in the bathing suit section goes into a V in the front, but hopefully with time I will find a bathing suit that does not show off my scars, but still shows off my new curves (I can’t go swimming right now anyway because of my little wound friend). I am on this “little dress” kick. I love trying on dresses and sundresses and I’ve actually bought a few. Jeremy encouraged me to try the first one on a few weeks ago. And he even talked me in to buying the (gasp) pomegranate, rather than the black one….lol! So I have a little red sun dress now. I think I’ve bought one dress in the past year since my mastectomies and it was a black print dress that hid my totally flat chest.
2. Today I accomplished a feat that might sound simple to many, but to anyone who has had a mastectomy and reconstruction, it was a huge success for me. I almost cried after I did it. I know you’re waiting with anticipation for this one…..but I….did an “underdog” for my kids on the swing today! They kept bugging me to do one and I haven’t since my mastectomies last July. It’s just too painful to let your arms go swinging upward and not really knowing where they will stop and how far back they will get pulled. My first attempt was Elijah and I ran to the side. But then I realized it didn’t hurt me so I did it again and I went right under. Then I did Meleah and went strait under her. She laughed and laughed and I jumped up and down. I had accomplished an “underdog.” I am very proud. And I am very glad to have such mobility at this point in the healing process.
It’s these things that would make me do this reconstruction over again in a heartbeat. I can get very down about this wound and how slow it’s healing but I am so happy to be where I am today. It’s a good feeling.