Monthly Archives: August 2009

Good Overload

I just got home from my second Willow Creek Leadership Summit.  Once again I feel like someone has removed every living brain cell in my head and I’ve been left with mush.  I will collect myself in the coming days.  I never know weather to cry, dance or take a nap after these two intense days.  Yesterday, after my 8 hour leadership infusuin, I went running.  It may have been my most powerful run yet.  I probably should have (blush)…..oh….ya know.  Something about being inspired makes me feel like I have to get energy out.  Either that or it was sitting all day. 

But really.  How can I sum this up for you.  So much great info, so little time.  Here are my thoughts at the current moment, tomorrow may be different….lol!

1.  There are some people who are doing amazing things where they are.  I don’t know if they’re doing it for Jesus, for themselves or for humanity.  But the way they’re helping people is incredible.  I’ve had to question what I’m doing and who I’m doing it for. 

2.  And back to that whole breast cancer thing.  I can’t help wonder what God has saved me for.  Maybe it was for my kids.  I don’t know.  I don’t have anything profound to say about that other than it moves around in my brain a lot.  I suppose if I could choose to do anything, now that I’m recovered, is email my oncologist at U of M, Sophia Merijver and see if she can pack me away in her suitcase on her next trip to Northern Africa so I could do something for the outrageous number of women who are getting Inflammatory Breast Cancer.  I don’t know what I’d do there, maybe I’d just hug them and cry with them, tell them I’ve been there too.  I’m still working that one out in my mind.  I suppose writing her would be OK, but I might get in the way.  I need a better plan.  I’m taking a class this fall at our local community college to see if I can make it in to nursing school.  I can get a second BA in a year and then midwifery in the next year.  It would be two years full time.  Maybe then she would pack me in her suitcase?

3.  My favorite speaker was a young woman who was cute and young and giggly and girly and super smart.  You gotta love it.  This is where our churches just DON”T GET IT!  Women……crazy……but true……can be great leaders (and they don’t have to look or act like men to do it either)!  Not only that but the world is waiting to see us equally partnering in ministry across the board.  Thank heavens an amazing place like Willow Creek who is changing the face of Christian leadership GETS THIS.  Because unfortunately most churches out there don’t.  (Yes this is my little soap box).  So it wasn’t surprising that one of the most amazing interviews they did was with a young woman named Jessica Jackley who helped start KIVA.  If you haven’t heard of this organization, you should check it out.  You an I can lend as little as $25 to people in third world countries so they can start businesses.  Pretty cool, pretty easy, yet the money goes so far.  She shared how one woman was able to send her daughters to school.  And these aren’t big things, these are small businesses, like buying beads to make necklaces they can cell or making peanut butter. 

So those are some of my thoughts.  I have more, but I can’t remember right now.  It’ll probably come to me later.

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And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;

                                                                                                     perseverance, character; and character, hope.

And hope does not disappoint us,

                                 because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. 

                                                                                                                                                                  (Romans 5:2b-5)

I love the words “and hope doesn’t disappoint us”.  I was just sharing my story last night with someone over the phone (hi patty) and we were discussing the hope we have through Christ.  It’s undoubtedly the reason I made it through the initial dark days of this cancer journey.  And not a random hope, but a hope in Christ who died a horrible death to bridge the gap for me. 

I don’t browse the parenting sections of my library and book stores the way I used to.  Now that I have three kids I have relaxed a little on my need to be a perfect parent.  It’s so much more enjoyable this way….lol!  But one book always stood out to me and I always think I should read it…..and still haven’t.  I don’t fully remember the name, but it basically was a book about raising “resiliency” in your children.  Through this cancer journey a thought has reverberated through my skull a time or two.  I would think “am I resilient enough to handle this?”   And even now, I ponder if I am truly resilient enough to get my life back in order?  I don’t know what the book says, but maybe someone with resiliency has the tenacity to fight back, or maybe they resist depression.  Or maybe it’s that they brush the dirt off their knees after it’s all said and done and they get back on the bike. 

Maybe it’s that they carry a deeper sence of hope.  Maybe they really aren’t any more resiliant than anyone else, but they clung to hope through the storm and in the end it didn’t dissapoint.  Hope was the rock through it all.

I’ve been trying to brush the dirt off my knees lately.  Some days are better than others.  When I was out running the other day the sky looked huge and blue, with barely a cloud in the sky.  It was a majestic moment.  And I thought, wow, If God can create this, and he can heal my cancer, certainly he can carry me through emotional healing at this point in my life. 

It was a moment of hope.  It was a moment of resiliency.

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Discovery Health: The Breast That Changed Color

Hmmmm….this sounds vaguely familiar.  So glad IBC is getting out there, so sorry someone had to experience this to be on the show.

I’m definitely watching…..and I think I’ll get the dx right, how ’bout you?  Don’t miss it starting August 10th.

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