Change. It’s never easy. At one point this summer I tried to wean Elijah from his Baa (bottle) and unfortunately after a week of progress, I gave in during a moment of weakness (or maybe tiredness). So here we are again. 2 months later and I’m determined to wean him off the Baa. I’m just not so sure I’m prepared for the fits and the crying.
Change is scary for most people. Some people roll with the punches. Accept what is. Tag along willingly. Others of us, we fight or we cry or we refuse to change.
I’ve had to accept a lot of changes in my life over the past few years. Some change you have control over. You can say “no, I don’t care to head that direction,” and you can turn right around. Like a regular Dr. Suess book. And then other changes come and they don’t come with choices attached to them. Cancer is one of those choices. I suppose you could choose to do nothing. But doing nothing is an almost immediate death wish. Even those that don’t choose traditional chemo, decide to make some change in their life, like eating differently, or trying natural therapies.
The thing that’s tough about change, is that it is inevitable, whether we like it or not. I had to choose chemotherapy, even though it made me sick as a dog some days. I had to choose mastectomies, even though it caused and still causes me physical pain. I had to choose radiation because there was no alternative. Studies show it works.
Without these changes, I surely would have died. Inflammatory breast cancer is invasive and within months it would have invaded at least one organ of my body and pretty soon it would have moved on to several. There’s still a chance a tiny, inconspicuous cell is wandering around looking for a home to attach too. But by doing treatment, I drastically reduced those chances of it happening.
We aren’t the only ones having a hard time with change. Back when they crucified Jesus, they didn’t like what he was about. They misunderstood what he was about. It scared them.
“The chief priest and the whole Sanhedrin were looking for false evidence against Jesus so they could put him to death. But they did not find any, though many false witnesses came forward.” (Matthew 27:26-59)
Jesus died because of change. He offered a new way of thinking. He was what we call the “new covenant.” And because He brought a new way of thinking, they put Him to death.”
Change was scary for me. But I knew if I didn’t change I would die. I didn’t fight it. I didn’t ignore it. I educated myself as much as I could and I trusted those in authority over my care. I sought second opinions, but ultimately I moved ahead and accepted the change taking place in my life. Even now, I am struggling with the new normal in my life. But I can let it consume me or I can accept change.
I think sometimes the need for change is not as apparent as cancer. Sometimes it is cancer creeping in slowly, quietly, undiscovered till it’s too late. Sometimes change comes forcefully. Sometimes change comes through division. Sometimes we know change is taking place and we get angry when someone discovers and brings it to the surface. We liked that it was hidden. Weather we like it or not, Change is going to happen. And chances are, if we resist it, change will happen anyway.
Here’s a quote. Nothing like ending harshly, but it is ever so true.
“He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetary.” (Harold Wilson)
The last time I was in to see my plastic surgeon I made a comment to him……it came out like a question, but I really think I was making a statement. I said “will I ever adjust.” He said “you will.” I think I meant: “I will not adjust.” Either way. His response still stands. “I will.”
We will adjust to change. And if we don’t, things will change anyway. So it’s best to make the decision to change, or maybe to say to yourself, “I’m willing to try.”
I hope if you are experiencing change right now in your life, whether it is change that is welcome or not, you are able accept it, and maybe even embrace it down the road. I am still learning to embrace many things about this change in my life. I am adjusting. My prayer is that you will too.
(I’ve never done this before, but I feel led to do it today. If you feel like you could use prayer in your life, for changes that are going on in your life that maybe you aren’t ready for. Leave a comment below. You can just say “pray for me” and anonymous, and I will say a quick prayer for you.)