Here’s the deal. If I were to read in the newspaper the word “pastor” showing her “reconstructed breast” in the same sentence I would be checking it out too….lol! I don’t know why I find this so hysterically funny but I do. I’m actually super glad this article came out in Chicago because if my congregation caught wind here in Michigan that I was showing my chest around on the internet I’m sure I’d be dooced.
The whole blogging and writing about my breasts thing is sometimes a bit weird for me as “clergy” girl. As I was talking to my plastic surgeon last time, we were discussing the implant option because I am a bit small for my size, and I told him it might just be an occupational hazard for me. I mean, if I worked at hooters…..not so much. But I’m a pastor and I preach and I don’t think my congregation wants Pamela Anderson in the pulpit. Ok….so he’s not going to make me THAT big, but still….implants? So when and if I decide to do this I will NOT be asking my church to pray for that surgery because can you imagine….everyone checking out my breasts that next Sunday. Seriously. It will be one of those very secretive events and because it would only be a little bit bigger I think I’d get away with it without too much distraction. Don’t believe me? It is so natural for people to glance at my chest that I am becoming very used to it. If I say I’ve had a mastectomy (glance) I then tell them I’ve had reconstruction. And when I had my mastectomies and told someone I had just had mastectomies (glance) and was wearing my prosthetics, I always had to explain they were the fake ones. And even now with my new reconstruction (glance) whenever I tell someone….they want to look! We with breast cancer are very much used to the glances. And just so you feel better, go ahead and glance, by the time I finished breast cancer treatment I was so comfortable with talking about breasts that I would flipantly throw around the word like it was as comfortable to talk about as my kids or my car. I have to remind myself that some people just aren’t that comfortable with it.
So I’m sorry to say, that if you came to my blog site looking to see my bare chest, well, you’re not going to find it. Not that I really haven’t shared almost everything else in this blog, but I have not posted my breasts. Nor is this saying that I never will. I mean….for the sake of the greater good I might think about it. But probably not. There are all lines we won’t cross and nudity is that line for me. I’m thinking my parents are pretty happy about this line I’ve drawn for myself. I’m sure it makes them proud. In fact, I told my parents about the article and of course they wanted to read it, so I had to email it to them and I had to write extra in the email something like this….”but Dad….I promise I did not bare my chest to the entire world on my blog.” Because, although they are not blog readers, and this includes mine, they surely do not want to find out their daughter is going topless on the internet….lol!
And just to clarify, because I think it was a little misunderstanding, that I did in fact post a blog about my post-surgical wound after my reconstruction with pictures and it is so gross I think about taking it down everyday. But the emails I get from people going through this tells me I should keep it up for the next gal going through this crud.
So if you are facing a DIEP flap reconstruction, I am happy to send pictures of my reconstructed breasts directly to YOU, and not the entire blogosphere. So email me privately and I would be ever so happy to email you faceless photos….because it’s always good to know what to expect. And I for one am totally thankful for women who sent me pictures of their body after mastectomies and for all the faceless women in the plastic surgeon’s office that helped me visually prepare for what I was going to look like.