Dear Mr. H

Dear Mr H,

What a very interesting experience it was running in to you the other day.

Since my son is three, it doesn’t shock me for him to experiment in touching things. This is pretty normal for three year olds. But what did shock me was your response when he knocked down the books next to you. I’m pretty sure it shocked my son when you hissed “Jesus Christ” loud enough for half the library to hear. You see, we tend to only use that name in a respectful tone or in prayer.

So it didn’t surprise me that he ran back to me quickly.

But it did shock me….again…when you were waiting for me with my three children after we were at the help desk to get right in my face about how my son knocked books down, or how when I walked to pick them up you followed me to continue to berate me. Like you needed to make sure I knew you thought I was a bad mom.

I was shocked and numb by your actions. If you were hoping to upset a random mom in the library, you did a good job. If you hoped to ruin a young mom’s day by ridiculing normal three year old behavior, you succeeded.

But what you didn’t probably expect is that I knew you, Mr. H. You see, I took music lessons as a child from your wife. And more recently I was the woman who welcomed you to the yoga class at the cancer center and spoke positive words to you about your diagnosis and treatment. I don’t think you remembered that, or me for that matter, but I remember you.

I want to thank you Mr. H, for ruining my day, and reminding me, following cancer, that every day is a gift. Every day I have the power to do good. My words can hurt or heal. I thank God for every day that I have to be a positive influence in someone’s life.

I’m sure I shocked you when I told you I knew you from the cancer center. I did so to remind you that life is far too short to worry about someone’s else’s child knocking some books on the floor.

Or spilled milk, or being late, or what you should wear that day.

And I meant it when I told you that “you could have chosen to be nice but instead you chose to be mean.”

Thank-you cancer and thank-you Mr. H for reminding me of this.


(1 Peter 1:5-7)

“So don’t lose a minute in building on what you’ve been given, complementing your basic faith with good character, spiritual understanding, alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder, warm friendliness, and generous love, each dimension fitting into and developing the others. With these qualities active and growing in your lives, no grass will grow under your feet, no day will pass without its reward as you mature in your experience of our Master Jesus. Without these qualities you can’t see what’s right before you, oblivious that your old sinful life has been wiped off the books.”

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4 thoughts on “Dear Mr. H

  1. Becky says:

    Hey, Jen! love your new blog look! and that story, how sad!! It reminds me of the book that Iw as just reading called “letters from the land of cancer” by Wally Wangerin. One thing that he talks about how is the fact that as cancer patients, sometimes we feel like we have the “right” to be irritable, to complain, to not be nice, b/c we have the horrible disease that no one really should ever have to endure….but, in reality, we do not have that right, we don’t have the right to be rude, to be short with people, b/c that is not honoring Christ. So sorry that you had that experience. Life is about choices, isn’t it?

    • clergygirl says:

      How are you feeling Becky! Great to hear from you! BTW….I finally got adobe so I’m hopefully going to start digi-scrapping soon:)

  2. sande sawyers says:

    Did you send this to Mr H or did you just type it here to feel better?
    I know sometimes I get so angry at someone I will sit down and write the person a 15 page letter about why I am angry.. then never send it. But I feel better!
    But I think that Mr. H needs to know that is not a way to be talking, especially in front of a 3 yr old! We’ll just keep praying for him!

    • clergygirl says:

      I don’t think I’ll send it to him. I did just write it to clear my thoughts, although if I had written it last week I think my post would have been much different. This is why I always wait when I’m angry, lol! I think the few things I said to him….that I knew him and I was in his yoga class was enough and he could have been nice were enough. I hope anyway.

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