Monthly Archives: March 2012

Perception Obstacles

After reading this article on perception of women in leadership in the church I felt a desire to create my own little picture quote.  Lets get past the perception obstacle and start placing people based on their giftedness and calling rather than gender.

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I’m Gonna Love You Through

“After a few days, Jesus returned to Capernaum, and word got around that he was back home. A crowd gathered, jamming the entrance so no one could get in or out. He was teaching the Word. They brought a paraplegic to him, carried by four men. When they weren’t able to get in because of the crowd, they removed part of the roof and lowered the paraplegic on his stretcher. Impressed by their bold belief, Jesus said to the paraplegic, “Son, I forgive your sins.”

Some religion scholars sitting there started whispering among themselves, “He can’t talk that way! That’s blasphemy! God and only God can forgive sins.”

Jesus knew right away what they were thinking, and said, “Why are you so skeptical? Which is simpler: to say to the paraplegic, ‘I forgive your sins,’ or say, ‘Get up, take your stretcher, and start walking’? Well, just so it’s clear that I’m the Son of Man and authorized to do either, or both . . .” (he looked now at the paraplegic), “Get up. Pick up your stretcher and go home.” And the man did it—got up, grabbed his stretcher, and walked out, with everyone there watching him. They rubbed their eyes, incredulous—and then praised God, saying, “We’ve never seen anything like this!” Mark 2:1-12

I recently spoke at my church on this passage.  I challenged the congregation to be “mat carriers” for each other and talked about the “mat carriers” I experienced while going through cancer.  Then I saw this video and it reminded me of how much it means when people reach out to you and truly care for you during difficult times in your life.  The paraplytic had four friends who carried him to Jesus, they dug through a roof to get him to the feet of Jesus.

So thankful for the people who cared for me and went above and beyond to help me feel His presence…..even today.

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Good Hands (Fear Not #2)

“Don’t be bluffed into silence by the threats of bullies. There’s nothing they can do to your soul, your core being. Save your fear for God, who holds your entire life—body and soul—in his hands.” (Matthew 10:28)

I spoke at a cancer conference yesterday at a local church.  I knew I was supposed to speak about my experience with reconstruction but somehow I missed that I was supposed to speak in the main session and share my testimony.  Woops!  When I arrived I forgot to pick up a schedule on my way in and I had this very creeping feeling that I was supposed to be up on the main panel.  Maybe it was when the coordinator announced she had survivors from their 60’s, 50’s, 40’s and 30’s.  I looked around for the other 30 something survivor.  I dunno….just had a feeling.  So after a woman in her 40’s spoke all of a sudden I heard my name.  Yikes.  All I can say is that it is a good thing my professional experience involves speaking in public.  I was actually glad to speak and to not have laid awake last night worrying about what I would say.  It was better this way.  

It’s actually these kind of opportunities that are helping me heal.

I preached a few weeks ago at our church.  

They are reminders to me that I am not completely washed up and useless.  Which is very much how I’ve felt this past couple years. 

Worried the cancer ruined my ability to function fully.  Worried the painful experiences with the church would forever ruin my spirit. 

I do believe I have been hurt by the “bullies” of life.  I know I’m not alone.  Beaten and broken physically. 

                                        Words that hurt. 
 Painful illness.  

                                                                                                                                 Deformities. 

                                                                  Broken hearts. 
I could go on and on.  

But I’m counting on deeper things than physical hurts.

I’m hanging on for the soul awakening.  The blooming yet to come from living in the fear of the Lord rather than fear of people or cancer.

I am far deeper a person than my breasts or my issues with anxiety.

I am thankful for people who have given me opportunities to remind me that I am far more than my physical struggles.  That I am capable. That I am healing.  That I am blooming. That my soul is in good hands.

 

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Accepted

Well, I did it.  I got accepted to a nursing program.  I’m ecstatic.  I applied for one other program, but it doesn’t really matter because the one that was “reasonably priced and close to home” was the one that accepted me.  I start this Fall.

I think this is where I thank cancer for lighting a fire under my booty to do more.  To not let my fears overcome me.  To listen to my heart and not the voice of impossibility.

My mantra lately has been “I will not let cancer win.”  I beat cancer physically, but I will not let it hold me back emotionally.  I believe it will always be a challenge but I am learning to live in today and only take one step at a time.  Leave wiggle room, but set goals.

I am one step closer to my dream!

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