Tag Archives: parenting

Modesty #1

I just got back from working out at a new fitness facility.  I can’t tolerate running in this cold.  Yesterday I got dressed to exercise and never did it.  I had good intentions but it was so cold and gray here in my parts of the world that I just couldn’t bring myself to be that motivated.  I really don’t know why I stay in Michigan.  I suppose for the three glorious months called June, July and August.  Maybe even September. 

So I dropped Melly Bell off at school and went home to start a bath.  My three-year old was busy at the computer and I was hopeful he would not hear my bath running.  I got in and sunk down in my steamy hot bath.  Aghhh…..some alone time. 

You know where this is going don’t you.  My dear son decided to look for me and…of course….he found me…..drats.  Whenever he finds me in the bathtub he thinks I want him to join the fun, so he immediately starts undressing.  What can I do?  I will either endure him crying at the door or let him get in.  So I let him get in. 

The water is hot.  I like to think I have a hot tub, which I do not.  Here is our conversation:

Elijah:  “Mommy, this is hot!”

Me:  “Is it too hot Elijah?”

Elijah (slowly climbing in) “no, I think it’s ok.”

Me:  “Are you sure Elijah?”

Elijah (now sitting in the tub) “Mommy, I’m pee-peeing!”

Lovely.  Needless to say it was a short bath.  I did not lay back.  I did not relax, and it quickly turned in to a shower.  So much for a few minutes of relaxation.

And on the topic of nakedness.  When I was nervously trying to find my way around this new fitness club, everywhere I looked I saw those young, perfectly fit 20-something girls.  So I go in to the locker rooms before my workout to pee.  There’s a woman, I’m not kidding you, totally naked doing her hair in front of the mirror.  She was there when I went in, and she was there when I came out 3 minutes later.  Must be nice to like your body so much that you think the rest of womanhood wants to see it as well, but quite frankly I did not.  I went to find a locker to hang my jacket in a locker and she was still there.  Now, I am completely comfortable with naked bodies.  I want to be a midwife as you know, I’ve been at several births, I’ve been up close and personal with many breasts as I coach women on breastfeeding, but it felt a bit obnoxious for her to be at the entry way to the locker room nakedly doing her hair and make-up.  Maybe I’m jealous.  I don’t know.  

Maybe it’s the attitude of nakedness?  Do you want to attract attention and why?  Maybe she is from a culture where that is totally and utterly fine?  Maybe her mom walked around the house naked all day?  I don’t mind nakedness with a purpose, but I don’t care for nakedness as a way to shock or draw attention. 

So if you’ve gotten to this point, you must play along.  Did I:

A.  Pull off my shirt and fiddle with my hair just to see her reaction to my nipple-less scarred breasts?  (You know you WANTED me to do this….you so did.  But DID I?)

B.  Tell her to get dressed?

C.  Walk passed with my hands covering my eyes, saying “eww, gross?”

D.  Walk passed quickly to the gym?

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“I Love You Mama.”

Yesterday I was cuddling with Elijah before his nap.  I got in to bed and snuggled up to him and he snuggled back, wrapping his little arms around my neck and putting his little face right at mine.  I said “I love you Elijah,”  and he said “I love you mama” right back to me.  I can’t even tell you how much I love this….when my children start doing that.  I don’t think it occurs to them to reciprocate this saying until a certain age, but when they do, it takes your breath away.  It just makes me want to cry with happiness.  That they would, of their own free will, tell me that they love me.  It just boggles my mind.  But it is so fulfilling.

It also get’s me thinking about how often as a child of God I forget to reciprocate God’s love.  I’m like a child waiting for Christmas “gimme this,” and “gimme that.”  Quick to offer up my prayer requests and wants, but not so quick to offer my affection to Him.  I’m pretty sure God doesn’t get as frustrated with me as I get with my kids when they are constantly “wanting” something more from me.  But I wonder if we take His breath away, so to speak, if He stops in His tracks, or a tear comes to His eyes when we slow down, enough, to actually adore, and love our creator, our heavenly parent, the one who loves us beyond compare or imagination?

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Just Hair

Does anyone see anything wrong with this picture? photo
















On Thursday I came home from a long day at the leadership summit to find my sweet Melly Bell’s hair chopped once again.  This will be the third time in the past year that she has taken scissors to her hair.  I was not pleased.  I said “Melly….what did you do to your hair.”  These words drew immediate tears.  Her hands went to her face and she turned and ran away.  I am not proud of the spew that seeps from my mouth once in a while but I was pretty angry.  When she came back a few minutes later I let her have it.  “Your hair looks terrible!  Why do you do this?” 

Right now, I’m not really caring if I hurt her feelings.  I’m angry because my cute little girl is going to start young-5’s in less than a month and by golly she is going to look cute if I have to make her miserable to do it!  What is the teacher going to think with chopped bangs and a big chunk out of the side.

And just so I’m justified…..I kept thinking….this is the third freak’in time she’s done this!  She knows better!

“I’m going to give you a buzz cut like Elijah if you do this again!”  (I think I threatened this last time, I can’t totally remember….but I swear I’ll do it!)

So Jeremy takes her in-side to have a talk with her and gets some scissors to even out the mess.  He had to basically cut a huge angle across her bangs because there’s no way we can cut it up to where the shortest hairs are. 

This will take months to look even.  I’m so miffed at her.

Next Day:

So then, somehow, my oh so wise husband catches wind that the neighbor girl is the one who cut her hair.  WHAT!  There are so many reasons this makes me look like a horrible person and not at all Christ like….at least for a few moments….until I catch my bearings.

I announced to Jeremy that we need to march right down and tell her parents.  Thankfully Jeremy has the good sense to tell me to cool off. 

I take a deep breath.  I remember that, even though the neighbor girl is two years older, it is still quite possible that my 8 year old could pull something off like this as well. 

Forgive Jen, forgive Jen, breath deep Jen.  It’s just hair!

Melly admitted later, as did the neighbor girl, (Don’t worry, Jeremy did all the talking here)  that she brought the scissors to our house and “tried” to cut Meleah’s hair and it didn’t work.  Yeah right it didn’t work….lol!  So she said they tried to even it up.  They did a great job now didn’t they.

Once again, I have received the mother of the day award for my excellent handling of the hair situation and I have had to once again be reminded that things aren’t always what they seem.  And thank goodness my dear husband stopped me from marching down the street because…well….it is just hair.

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